Part of: Madrasah life and learning
ParentsMy child doesn't want to go to madrasah
Most children who resist madrasah are tired after school, bored, struggling with their lesson, or unhappy with a teacher or classmate. Find out which it is by asking calmly at a relaxed moment, not at the door. Then fix that cause: a snack and short rest first, practice at home so they feel confident, a word with the teacher, or a different class. Praise effort, not just progress.
Common reasons
- Tiredness and hunger after a full school day
- Feeling behind: the lesson is too hard and they're embarrassed
- Boredom: long repetition with little variety
- The teacher: too strict, or the child feels picked on
- Friends: missing activities, or problems with other children
What helps
- Ask at a calm time, like bedtime or in the car, not when leaving the house.
- Snack and a short break between school and madrasah.
- Five minutes of practice at home each day, so they arrive confident.
- Talk to the teacher about pace and how your child is finding it.
- Celebrate milestones: finishing a Qaidah page, a new surah, a first khatm.
- Give them ownership: their own bag, cover and topi or hijab that they chose.
When to take it further
If your child is frightened of a teacher, describes being hit or humiliated, or their behaviour changes sharply, speak to the madrasah's safeguarding lead straight away. UK madrasahs should have a safeguarding policy, and you can also contact your local authority's children's services or the NSPCC helpline.
Questions people also ask
Should I force my child to go to madrasah?
Consistency matters, but find the reason first. Fixing tiredness, confidence or a class problem usually works better than pressure alone.
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← The parent's guide to madrasah: the full topic guide
- Preparing your child for the first day at madrasah
- What to pack for madrasah and the mosque
- What is a madrasah?
- What is a maktab?
- What is a Qaidah?
- What is tajweed?
- What is hifz?
- Sabaq, sabqi and manzil: the hifz system explained
- What does ustadh mean?
- What is a topi?
- Child struggling with the Qaidah
- Child reading the Quran too fast
- Child forgetting what they've memorised
- No time to practise the Quran at home
- Losing the Quran habit after Ramadan
- Madressa bag checklist for the new term
- Mosque bag for Jummah and Taraweeh: what to bring
- How to choose a Quran for a child
- Madrasah in Ramadan: what changes